Last week with FH & More

I don't really know where to start. I must admit that I've put off writing an updated blog for some time now. I don't know if i didn't want to actually have to deal with it, if saying it makes it real and i have to 'figure stuff out' or if it's been so busy....most likely a mixture of all. I have been praying and struggling for months with wanting to leave FH. Our field work and workers are amazing but i think that seeing things from a high level forces you to see the 'ugly' of your organization. You have the privilege of seeing all the good but also comes with that is the bad and i couldn't see anymore. I love Kenya i love FH/Kenya but i finally got to the point that i felt as if God was releasing me. I was in Northern Kenya doing a livestock market assessment and i had a lot of time to think, pray and struggle. While i was there i resigned. I have since then continued to struggle for a few reasons.

One is that I've lost hope in holistic sustainable development in general. I see good programs that reach the physical needs and i see others that reach the spiritual but i do not see them integrated and on top of that being sustaining. i just don't know if i believe it's even possible anymore. I am struggling with the 'what now' to this considering that it was what i wanted to do for a while. I also desire to stay in Kenya, i don't feel 'done' with it and so i hoping/ praying that God allows me to stay but i will need another job. Then on top of all of that i am just tired. I have been going strong for a while now with no breaks, no rest, no boundaries and i need some time to recuperate which leads me to my next surprise. (Side Note: personally an old freind that i grew up with passed away a few weeks ago, our receptionists husband was carjacked and shot dead and there's been political unrest here.)

Surprise: I've decided to go travel through Europe for 5 weeks with a good freind of mine. Cheryl works with FH/Rwanda doing communications and we met in Peru almost two years ago and have remained friends since. She has also recently resigned from FH and we have decided to backpack for a while and take a vacation. I am extremely excited about this and cant wait for the opportunity to finally travel for fun, to explore, enjoy nature and have new experiences while visiting exotic, beautiful places.

I will finish up with FH this week but will be doing a few freelance briefings in April for my boss. Also a friend is getting married soon and i'm going to the coast with a different dear freind for her spring break vacation. Then I depart April 28th for London, where we will start and will return to Kenya by June 9th. I have been searching for jobs here in Kenya and in East Africa and have come across several that might have potential but don't feel a strong desire/ inclination towards any of them. Honestly, I'm struggling with what sort of organization to work for. With losing hope in faith based NGO's that say they are doing something they are not i don't know if i want to rush into another one straight away. Then there's the option of government work but getting a job with the UN or US Embassy is extremely competitive but it's not that as much as the work environment itself...

I just don't know. So, please pray for me. I don't know what to do. I am trying to seek wise council, praying and reading scriptures but i still don't have direction but i do have peace. For now my 'plan' and i do use the term plan loosely, is to finish up with FH, do the freelance work, attend friends wedding, go to Kenyan coast and then go to Europe.....

I'm sorry i cant give more now ....

Life in Kenya

Jambo All (Hi in Swahili)

I cannot believe that two months have gone by already. It seems like so much has happened yet at the same time nothing at all. I’ll try to catch you up on the last few months without making this a novel. I got here a little over two months ago. I lived with the FH Kenya Country Director and his wife for about a month before I moved into my own apartment. (Side note: I am living alone right now and do not like it. Please pray that God provides me with a roommate.) I started right away doing ‘special projects’ for FH Kenya and have been enjoying learning and getting the field experience I so desperately sought. My first project was to help coordinate the 5 NGO consortium as we wrote a proposal for a grant with OFDA (office of foreign disaster assistance). FH Kenya is the lead organization in this consortium and was awarded the grant (praise God) to work on the global food crisis here in Kenya for the next two years. This is huge as we are the lead organization in this grant and the smallest of the 5.

The second project was to link our HIV/AIDS women’s groups in the Kawangware slum with a free trade store in Canada. This free trade store was not only interested in the product that these women offered but also their stories. I was able to do interviews, look at their products, write stories and put it together in a catalogue for the store so that they know what we offer. That was done right before Christmas and if I am able to link these two groups it means sustainable income for these women. The trouble with the market here in Kenya is that it is flooded with crafts and jewelry that all the NGO’s taught and that is why a new market is needed in order for these women to survive with the skills they have. This project will be ongoing but please do pray for God’s favor for these women.

Personally I have loved my time thus far in Kenya. It was hard to not be in California for the holidays with family and friends especially since most of my friends here went back to the States, but overall it is not difficult for me to live here. It’s just life if that makes sense. I’ve had some adventures in the last few months in addition to everyday adventures of transportation, markets, more traffic than LA, etc here in Nairobi. I was able to go white water rafting on the White Nile in Uganda, explore old Masai markets and camped in the Aberdares where I saw some amazing ‘wildlife’. I stumbled upon an elephant in the Aberdares….yes, I know I know what you’re thinking. Only Ruth could ‘stumble upon’ an elephant, get away safely and then go back to see it again. I plan on going to the coast next week to search for the venue for FH Corporate Conference. We will have all the Country Directors in our fields and their spouses in one location and this time it will be taking place in Kenya and I will be heading it up. Thanks to all of you who have wrote I appreciate your love and steadfast support.

I'm moving to Nairobi....on Oct 28th!!!!

Hi Friends & Family,

I wanted to update you on the recent events that have come about. I've been praying for a few months now that God would lead and direct me to my next step. While in Nicaragua two weeks ago Greg (President), Peter (CEO) and myself sat down to discuss what that might be. We looked at the fact that my year is this position has passed, my desire still was to get to the field for a time and my passion has always been and will be to work with women who have been marginalized/at risk. We came to a mutually beneficial scenario and have seen the Lords hand in it in such a way that can only be a confirmation. I will be leaving in 8 days for Nairobi, Kenya to live and I'm so excited. So, i guess you all probably have some questions so let me try to give some clarity:

Who: Ruth still working for FH

What: I will be working 60% of my time continuing coordinating for Greg & Peter and the office of the President/ CEO, the other 40% will be working with our HIV/AIDS, women's groups in Nairobi as well as some time allocated to various projects that come up

Where: Nairobi, Kenya

Why: I have always wanted to get some field experience and have waited for the 'OK' from God. This last year and half i know he has been preparing me and has asked me to be patient for His timing not mine.

When: October 28th- I've given a verbal agreement to stay at least until July so i can plan our Leadership Gathering that will be taking place in Kenya (so at the very shortest 9 months)

As i go please pray for:

• Packing- I am not close to finishing yet and am trying to fit everything into two bags, move out of my brothers, store the rest at my parents
• Travel prior- I'm headed to Austin on Wednesday morning until Sunday, then will return, have a day to finish up getting ready and then will leave Tuesday for Kenya. So, please pray for safety, for enough sleep/ rest, good time with my boss and his family, work that needs to get done will
  
• Safety in traveling- planes, cars, trains,
  
• Housing- i will be staying with the Country Director and his wife once i arrive but will start looking for a place right away. Please just pray that God will show me where he wants me to be at
• Job- that i will be able to balance my two roles, that i would be able to learn quickly everything i need to and will be a blessing to the FH staff there
• Fun- i am looking forward to the adventure ahead!!
  

So, there it is! Now starts my new adventure!
Also, real quick I wanted to thank those of you that have been supporting me financially this last year. I really appreciate it and consider it a blessing from God.

Uganda, the land that I love.....

My time in Northern Uganda was great, thank you for all your prayers. We spent most of our time in the New Life Centre in Kitgum District. We worked most directly with the staff at the NLC to help build their capacity. Deborah and Jenn had a great time using their unique skills to help benefit all around. Deborah was a huge help to the nurse doing a ton of charing and many other things. Jenn helped to assess the psychosocial aspect that the SGBV (sexual gender based violence) victims. I was able to help several different areas, one being learning to write grant proposals with Dr. Wendy, the program manager up there. I found it fascinating to write UNICEF (and other) proposals to get funding for specific programs such as , Hep E/ Water & Sanitation, Child Protection and HIV/ AIDS. I really enjoyed the exposure and the new skill that it produced as well as the end result of funding! :) FH uses funding from organizations like UNICEF and pairs it with private donor dollars to get at achieving wholistic development.

We were told we came at a crucial time for the NLC, and know it was only God ordained. At times we didn't always feel that we were doing a lot but we were assured that the timing could have only been God's. It just goes to show yet again that His plans are not always known. We thought we were going there for one reason and it ends up being for something different and more important.

The girls and i all got along just fine; we were unified and worked great as a team. It really did help that we had already been roommates for a year and new one another's oddities and personalities. One of the highlights was that we got to travel to Piswa where Deborah and i both support girls in the community. I got to visit my sponsored child and visit with her and her family. Her father had passed away a month earlier and so i was able to encourage them and give my condolences. When we took this picture it was the one and only time she smiled.

I was hoping that God would lead me to stay in Uganda or to return to work for a season. It was clear that while i was there, although i loved the work, the people, the country it was not God's will that i work there right now. This realization was difficult but freeing in that i am more open to anything that God might have for me. Stay Tuned...

Back from Guatemala & Nicaragua

Hello All,

I'm back now from the trip and want to thank you again for all your prayers. I know i already updated you on Guatemala but i wanted to tell you about Nicaragua. Overall it went really smooth. Although we only had 3 days there, we packed as much into it as we could. The group of us that went got to learn about our unique partnership with the Nehemiah Center in Managua. The Nehemiah Center is a place that was created 9 years ago as a collaboration between 7 Christian NGO's to reach Nicaragua for Christ. Each NGO brings different resources to the table and each one relies on each other. It's a Center based on relationship and interdependence and is an amazing testimony to what can be done when all are working for the same end state and when the glory goes all to God. We also got to encourage our staff, get a better idea of their struggles and challenges as well as visit an active volcano and spend some quality time with the Country Director and her deputy :) I couldn't have done any of it without your prayers.Thanks again for your support, update from Uganda coming soon!!

Peace
Ruth

Prayer Update

Well, it's apparent that we serve a God who is actively involved in our lives. There was no reason, other than grace and prayer, that everything worked out with the logistics of this trip. Right after sending the prayer request i was flying from Dallas to Guatemala City and right before we landed i was completely at peace. I knew that God was in control and that everything would work out for His glory. I could feel all of your prayers and know that it was those that opened a way for God to work. Thank you all for your prayers and for your emails of support.
The trip ended up working out fine and the meetings that took place went off smoothly and without any hindrance. It was a fruitful meeting but difficult as the board was able to get all the issues on the table.
Today is our last day here in Guatemala and we will depart early tomorrow morning for Nicaragua. We will be having 4 days of field visits there before heading back to the US. Thanks again for your prayers, they were and still are felt.

Help! Need Prayer!!

Hello All,

I know it has been a long time and there are so many things to catch you up on but right now i am in desperate need of prayer. I'm sitting in the Dallas airport on the way to Guatemala for a board meeting. The last few months have been extremely difficult for me and i have not relied upon the Lord as i should have. This has been apparent this last week as everything has gone wrong and i almost caused a board member to not be able to come due to visa issues. I also just got a phone call that the CEO's wife, Jip was stuck in Miami with Visa issues also. This board meeting is crucial and i know the enemy has been attaching not only my boss and myself but everyone involved. Satan would love to get a foothold and we need to stand against him. Please pray with me for the logistics of this trip to come together, for safety for travel, for favor with Jip's visa and anything else that is unforeseen...I know that this is the Lord trying to get my attention. I pray that this will not cause anyone else harm or trouble......

Thank you.

Peace (please)
Ruth

Uganda!!

Uganda: August 3-29

It was a year and a half ago when I first went to Uganda. A country plagued by war and oppression where many of the people had been enslaved and forced to fight for the rebel army. Child soldiers were created to fight their war and women were stolen from their homes to fight and become wives of the oppressors.
I have the privilege of returning to work with FH Uganda during the month of August with two of my roommates. We will be working at the New Life Center in Kitgum (Northern Uganda) and is a place were formally abducted child mothers are residing. This is the same place that I went to the dedication of last time I was there. At the New Life Center some these mothers are educated, receive counseling, learn an income generating activity, and receive physical and spiritual healing. The staff in Kitgum also go out into the neighboring Internally Displaced People Camps (IDP) and implement the same things to other women.

Prayer Requests:

- Safety: In planes, cars, walking, within the New Life Center compound, as we go into internally displaced people camps, and into the communities

-Personal: unity, good communication and understanding with one another, and the field workers with FH, for servants hearts for all the stakeholders, assimilation into a country/culture, good health, & a great time!

-Ministry: that we will be able to minister wholistically to the formerly abducted child mothers and other women/ children we come into direct contact with

-Uganda: LRA & gov’t have been in a two year negotiation for peace; on verge of more political unrest, with the impoverished most at risk

I cant even explain how excited i am about returning to Uganda. Please keep myself, Deborah & Jenn in prayer as well as my boss, Greg, who has graciously allowed me this month off and with whom i will be having very limited contact with.

Greetings from the UK!!

Greetings from Oxford!

I thank you all for your prayers and support during my last trip to Africa.
This has been a trip of many emotions. Many highs and many lows. We started in Rwanda for meetings with many of it's leaders, next went to Ethiopia for the Africa Regional Conference, and ended our time in Burundi with government visits. I got to visit two very dear friends in Rwanda, had my dad, mentor, and good friend in Ethiopia, and 5 entertaining Canadians in Burundi! Needless to say, if you know me you know this would have and did put me into relationship overload!! Despite that i loved my time in those regions of Africa and felt 'at home' there. I wanted to share with you a few pictures as well as a story i wrote after visiting a genocide memorial.

I'm living here in the UK until July 1st. I am and will continue to be preparing for an upcoming joint board meeting. If you could please keep me in your prayers. There are many logistics associated with this and the number of attendees has gone from in the 20s to almost 60!! Holy Cow Batman!

Genocide

In the last 50 years different parts of our world have gone through an unspeakable horror that we call genocide. You would think that in ours and our parent’s generation we would have learned our lesson. The Jews during World War II, Kosovo, Rwanda, Uganda, the Kurds, Sudan, DR Congo…unfortunately the list can and does go on. I cannot justify but I can figure out why our countries do not go in to help when they know such atrocities are occurring. What I cannot justify or understand is why as a global Church we have allowed it.

I am flying out of Rwanda right now and I have a new perspective on genocide, like anyone who has visited here would. Yesterday we went to a genocide memorial 3 hours outside of Kigali, in a place called Murambi. This former school was a mass grave to 50,000 Tutsi’s who came there seeking asylum but got obliteration instead. They have dug up the mass graves and laid the bodies on display in the classrooms. Before you even really know what is happening the smell of rotting flesh is brought to your senses and then as your eyes adjust to the rooms and you recognize the decomposing bones of humans. Children, women, and men’s skeletons are laying on the benches, some with clothing still on, some with hair, but all bodies are contorted in such a way that makes it clear in which they died.…painfully. I couldn’t help but start crying. There was room after room filled with bodies but I stopped after only 2 rooms. Many thoughts ran through my mind. To hate enough to kill the innocent, to kill children, to kill not because you are solider, but because you are told that a specific group of people are not worthy of living but of eradication. I had to turn my back on the room and stare off on the landscape. I was overcome by the instantaneous contradiction: inside lay something so horrific that it is unexplainable. Outside laid countryside more beautiful than I have ever seen. It was peaceful, calm, unaffected by the memorial and what it symbolized. It’s as if the surrounding area had needed to adopt a serenity to forget what had occurred there.

Up the hill there was a room that was a haven for the clothing of those that had passed away. The clothes were in cubbyholes like those children use at school. In them was the only way that families were able to gain closure over missing loved ones. You head outside the room and there are three signs surrounding you in the distance. Two are markers for mass graves that had been dug up and the third stated that in this spot the French had played volleyball. The complacent disregard for human life angered me instantly yet a moment later I realized that I was not above it, any of it. None of us are. It would be easy to say that we would never do such things and although most of us never will, that doesn’t mean that it isn’t within us.

On to Africa!!

Greetings from Chicago on route to Brussels! I’m off and running on my next trip and wanted to share with you the 5 W’s:

Where: Rwanda, Ethiopia, Burundi

When: May 19^th – June 5^th

Who: Greg, Ryan, a mission’s pastor from Austin will be joining us the whole trip; Ernie, my father will be joining us in Ethiopia;

Why: Rwanda- field/ site visit, time there with a organization who does peace and reconciliation, visit an FH microenterprise starting company; Ethiopia- Africa Regional Conference where all the country directors and lead staff come together yearly for time of relationship, sharing of work, strategy for the upcoming year, etc; Burundi- further continue relationship with the President and how FH can walk with the Burundi government, attend a leadership seminar put on by one of our Board members

How can you Pray:

1. Traveling protection: for the plane, vehicles, luggage arrival, anywhere our feet and hands touch

2. I have many friends in Rwanda and I want to be an encouragement to all of them as well as a vehicle they can use to discuss anything. I will need emotional and spiritual wisdom

3. Spiritual covering as we visit genocide areas in Rwanda and as the Peace and Reconciliation discussions happen for openness, honesty, and unity for the people of Rwanda

4. Time of rest and renewal in Ethiopia for FH staff, that FH global staff can be a blessing to those around, unity and crucial strategies that are Holy Spirit led not man led, for my dad and I to have a great time together J

5. Travel to and around Burundi, the country in the capital, Bujumbura, has been unstable lately, conflicts and deaths have taken place, safety while in unstable country and wisdom to how to continue to partner with government

Thanks for your faithfulness. Its fun to hear from you guys also, so if you have a minute please say hi. Also, for those that do not know, I will not be returning right back to the US from Africa. We are having a board meeting in Oxford at the end of June, I will be running point for this and such it is easier for me and more cost effective for me to be in country instead. I will be living in Oxford from June 4^th till July 1^st. I will send info once I get settled in there but just wanted you all to know.